The universe and our creative power

I think one of the most disappointing factors about myself is my inability to stay on track with the things I want. I started doing Chakra healing through a wonderful woman named Carol Tuttle, about four weeks ago. Now I am not upset that I haven't stuck with it consistently....as I proclaimed that I would. (Every day for at least 30 minutes) I am upset with the fact that I know how the universe works, aware of the law of attraction, healing energies.... and yet I still sabotage my lauguage and actions with what is.


Each day with me is like a drug induced, chaotic self-war of internal anarchy. One day I am confident that I can conquer every wish and crazy demand and the next I proclaim my stake to inferior beliefs and destructive habitual patterns. At times I break down and plead to my guides to save me, and other moments I confess my absolute elation of gratitude. A constant tug-of-war of highs and lows that I like to refer to as my self ruled government. ( an organized democracy it is not!)

I truly feel sorry for the guide that was assigned to look after my soul. She must shake her head and throw her hands to the heavens continually for having to deal with me.

The past couple of days have been extremely hard for me. My bills are piling up, creditors are calling me and the harder I profess my stake to riches, the more desperate I become......and oh yes.....yes, my dear audience I have been here before. In fact this very time last year I sat on that meditation pillow and begged the heavens to save me. Throwing my hands in the air I told them I could not do it anymore and I give up.....oh how many times I have been here!!!


So how is it that knowing in every fiber of my body that I need to focus on abundance rather than lack to get what I need....but I cannot seem to get past this state of disappointment and desperation?? Like a mix tape forever looping in my head, all I can hear is "You have made zero progress in an entire year"......"I am so broke"...."How will I ever pay these bills"....why can I not manifest? Gee, probably because my DESPERATE plea for money, sends to the universe more DESPERATION for money. But I still can't make it stop.

In absolute tears this morning I pleaded to the heavens to help. Please oh please make this desperation stop. Please oh please help me out of this horrible 80's mix tape.....and then it happened.


Pissed off, saddend, desperate, frustrated, disappointed and effing angry, I tried very hard to lift myself out of this all too familiar self pity. But thank God for those guides that have to look after us. No matter what they never give up on us, and they never fail us, no matter how ridiculous we behave, and how much we annoy them! Today they sent a vendor into my office and he handed me a much needed booklet. He said "God told me to give this to you."

As I flipped open the booklet I saw:

"I tell my people they can have what they say, but they are saying what they have......Too many people use the words of their mouth to hold themselves in bondage. But speak from the heart, and it will produce liberty..."


Thank-you my angels for looking after me. Thank-you for not giving up on me, and despite my constant loop tape of what is, I will continue trying to manifest what can be.....

Love and light Amanda

images: Smoke gets in my third eye

New age thinking vs Western Culture

I had the wonderful opportunity to attend one of Bill Plotkins Soucraft intensives in early March. Having never done anything like this I wasn't entirley sure what I had gotten myself into. Open-minded, and ready to explore, I dove into the idea of heading out into nature to talk to trees.

For five glorious days I trekked through the woods (in the middle of no where) to connect with the divine. Not only was I in the middle of no where, I was camping with 12 strangers I had never met. Strangley enough, despite all the signs to be alarmed or rather programmed to fear such unknown circumstances, never in my life had I felt more connected, and safe. These were my people. 

For five days my heart poured open. So much sadness and grief held within me for so long and for the first time in my life I felt accepted, and welcomed. By the end of the trip I was further saddened to leave my family. I truly dreaded going home.

The experience left a very strong impact on my life. It also opened me up to many new modalities and practices such as regular meditation, and chakra healing. All of which I had done for many years of my life, but never with so much conviction and purpose. Never had it connected to the root of who I was, or had such a deep meaning, until that trip. It was as if I had been unzipped and a new light of energy had been injected through me.

So why is it that an experience such as this can leave such a strong impact on ones life, completley change it for the better, and yet still fall on deaf ears for so many? This is the question that really brought Bev and I together. We desperately wanted to share in our amazing transitions, but no one we knew wanted to take part in such "woo-woo" thinking. 

Our ancestors practiced special ceremonies regularly and followed daily rituals to honor and bless nature and the unseen gods. So when and where did our rancid western culture get so lost? Perhaps somewhere between the intersection of My super sweet 16 and Jersey Shore fame? Or was it as simple as the idea that a two income family suddenly made life a little easier until it became a game of keeping up with the neighbors? I think the death of a reality stars husband is proof positive that perception is certainly not reality, and it's time for us to put our feet back on the ground.

Amanda

images: joongwonacupucture, animas

Zen Chakra-A welcome note

As Beverley and I get our barings and figure out what the hell we are doing, we'd like to personally welcome you to Zen-Chakra! What is is you ask? Well, Bev and I met in a chat room....and not the kind you hear about on the news (no one was harmed in the writing of this post!).  It was a forum where like minded individuals meet to discuss healing modalities like natural stones, opening up your chakras and finding our true purpose. The good kind of chat room where it is safe to share your REAL name! Yikes!

Ever hear that saying, "live your purpose, find your passion?"  Yea me neither.... Until I met Bev.  Then I realized that things began to shift. As her and I exchanged emails about our experiences with our chakras, we realized that a conversation needed to be started. We had so many questions, so many exciting things to share and we wanted to open it up beyond our inbox for two.

So in just a few short weeks, Zen-Chakra was created. We are starting an online forum, and a blog where everyone can come to share their knowledge, gifts and most importantly, their experiences!  Are you familiar with the chakras? Do you know what they do, or the power that they hold? We want to hear from you! Let us know what interests you on your holistic journey.

In the menatime, excuse our mess as we get ourselves settled and organized. But please don't hesitate to contact us, we'd love to hear from you!

Thanks,
Amanda B