A love note to yourself

Sometimes I get really frustrated with God. How is it that I can work so hard at something, KNOW what it is I need to do, FEEL like I am doing it.......PRAY, and PRAY and PRAY on it......and retrieve nothing in return?

Then I hear Garth Brooks in my head..”sometimes God’s greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers.” As I struggle to keep my head above water in a most challenging and difficult economy, I find myself asking questions like “is this what God/Spirit wants for me?” Some days I am elated for the simple things that bring me joy. Then I get another bill, or another debt collector, or another one of life's challenges on my doorstep, and I think "God cant possible want this for me!” And off I go into my broken record, starting the pattern of hopelessness again!

How many of you can relate to this story? Despite these many challenges, I see the divine all around me. And if you look, you will too. A dear friend reminded me to ALLOW God’s greatest good into my life. Frustration and constriction never gets you anywhere she screeched! And she is right, Angels are all around us, open yourself up to it, trust and believe. More importantly, PAY ATTENTION. Remember my dear friends, angels come in many forms.......mine came in the form of an HVAC repair man this morning that had to remind me that a smooth sea never makes a skillful sailor. 

Love and light 

Amanda

podcast-A journey with universal laws

Today join me, Amanda, on my own journey on things like meditation, positive affirmations, laws of the universe, and spiritual healing. Here I discuss my exploration with the universe from unaware college student, to self enlightened 30 something.

Still on my own road trying to find my way, this podcast shares some of my own ups and downs, and focuses on the importance that positive thoughts and actions possess. Learn lessons on things that can work for you, and things to avoid, and see your own experiences through mine!

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Is Negative energy more powerful than positve energy?

I have convinced myself that I have better manifesting power when I am in the worst negative state. Now I am not manifesting things that I desire, oh nooooo. In fact I tend to manifest more of what I don't want. So why is it easier for me to attract what I don't want and less of what I do?

 I know what I need to focus on. I know about the power of attraction, and I am fully aware of the idea to focus on what could be rather than what is. So why is it that I feel that one day of shear negativity manifests more into my life, than one day of absolute positivity? Albeit I have a feeling that I tend to be harder on myself than I should be, but do find it much easier to be frustrated and negative for reasons I will never be able to explain. Maybe a lifelong pattern? Possibly a default button on hyper drive? But it begs the question, are we as humans better at manifesting more negative circumstances than positive ones for the mere fact that it's easier? Is negativity more powerful than positivity simply because as a society we are told our entire lives what we can't do rather than what we can? Or do all of us default to a pessimistic nature because at our core we feel we don't deserve it and it is easier for us to have self sabotaging behavior as an excuse?


Today, let's affirm that it is going to be a great day. Today we will be safe, pleasant and abundant, and we will be surrounded by good, kind, happy individuals. And just for good measure, let's throw in that we posess the winning lottery numbers too.............

Love and MUCH abundance
amanda

image: visulize

The universe and our creative power

I think one of the most disappointing factors about myself is my inability to stay on track with the things I want. I started doing Chakra healing through a wonderful woman named Carol Tuttle, about four weeks ago. Now I am not upset that I haven't stuck with it consistently....as I proclaimed that I would. (Every day for at least 30 minutes) I am upset with the fact that I know how the universe works, aware of the law of attraction, healing energies.... and yet I still sabotage my lauguage and actions with what is.


Each day with me is like a drug induced, chaotic self-war of internal anarchy. One day I am confident that I can conquer every wish and crazy demand and the next I proclaim my stake to inferior beliefs and destructive habitual patterns. At times I break down and plead to my guides to save me, and other moments I confess my absolute elation of gratitude. A constant tug-of-war of highs and lows that I like to refer to as my self ruled government. ( an organized democracy it is not!)

I truly feel sorry for the guide that was assigned to look after my soul. She must shake her head and throw her hands to the heavens continually for having to deal with me.

The past couple of days have been extremely hard for me. My bills are piling up, creditors are calling me and the harder I profess my stake to riches, the more desperate I become......and oh yes.....yes, my dear audience I have been here before. In fact this very time last year I sat on that meditation pillow and begged the heavens to save me. Throwing my hands in the air I told them I could not do it anymore and I give up.....oh how many times I have been here!!!


So how is it that knowing in every fiber of my body that I need to focus on abundance rather than lack to get what I need....but I cannot seem to get past this state of disappointment and desperation?? Like a mix tape forever looping in my head, all I can hear is "You have made zero progress in an entire year"......"I am so broke"...."How will I ever pay these bills"....why can I not manifest? Gee, probably because my DESPERATE plea for money, sends to the universe more DESPERATION for money. But I still can't make it stop.

In absolute tears this morning I pleaded to the heavens to help. Please oh please make this desperation stop. Please oh please help me out of this horrible 80's mix tape.....and then it happened.


Pissed off, saddend, desperate, frustrated, disappointed and effing angry, I tried very hard to lift myself out of this all too familiar self pity. But thank God for those guides that have to look after us. No matter what they never give up on us, and they never fail us, no matter how ridiculous we behave, and how much we annoy them! Today they sent a vendor into my office and he handed me a much needed booklet. He said "God told me to give this to you."

As I flipped open the booklet I saw:

"I tell my people they can have what they say, but they are saying what they have......Too many people use the words of their mouth to hold themselves in bondage. But speak from the heart, and it will produce liberty..."


Thank-you my angels for looking after me. Thank-you for not giving up on me, and despite my constant loop tape of what is, I will continue trying to manifest what can be.....

Love and light Amanda

images: Smoke gets in my third eye